Twas the evening before Christmas Eve, as Booga would say, and we were all safely back from the checkpoint charlie parking lot in North Bend. Pogo, Booga's mother, and I had once again made the trip to checkpoint charlie to reclaim Booga and her sister, Pegs, from the family of their biological father after a week long visit.

This time, the exchange had been easy because the grandparents had brought the lizards to checkpoint charlie and Paula, the grandmother, was the only non dysfunctional member of the clan as far as I knew. During the transfer of luggage from car to car, we exchanged pleasantries about the weather and about how Pegs would eat anything, and about the condition of the roads. Then Paula surprised me with a hug and we were on our way back home.

Dick, as the biological father was known around my home, could sometimes make checkpoint charlie difficult. There was still some emotional debris between Dick and Pogo and the slightest thing could set either one of them off. On those occasions, Pogo would stand by the car door and Dick's new wife, who was a deaf mute as far as I knew, would stay in their car. Dick and I would meet by the car trunks and make the transfer in record time while mouthing what can only be described as dorky banalities at each other and knowing we detested each other.

So it was good to be home again. The heater was on, the woodstove was lit, the music was playing, the three dogs and three cats were sprawled about, Pogo was doing something strange in the kitchen, Pegs was reciting the state capitals aloud on the sofa, and I was in the recliner with Booga on my lap. Then the phone rang. As we screen all calls, I turned the music down to hear who was calling. It was Dick calling for Pegs and Booga.

Booga got up to answer it while a cat and a dog took her place on my lap and demanded my attention. After a couple of moments, I glanced up and saw that Booga looked as if she was being assaulted. Her eyes were big, red, and glassy. Her face was red and crumpled looking, her fingers were twisting the phone cord, her body was hunched and diminished.

My first thought was that Dick had called to punish her for some imagined thing and I was instantly angry that my ten year old was being attacked in this way. So rather than grabbing the phone and suggesting heated destinations and impossible self activities to Dick, I called out "Pogo."

Not atypically, she first responded with "whaa?" Then the echo of my tone registered and she came in. She saw Booga and instantly grabbed her and the phone to find out what was the matter. Dick's great grandmother had died and he wanted his 10 and 12 year old daughters to know. So now Booga knew and she was crying, crushed, scared and hurting while I was furious with this idiot on the phone for doing it to her.

Soon, Pogo was off the phone after telling Dick that no, the children would not be attending the funeral next week; and Booga was in my lap crying and we began to talk.

We discussed that the great grandmother had been 87 years old and painfully confined to a nursing home for the past several years and maybe it was a good thing that her suffering was over. Then I asked Booga if the great grandmother had been a good person? Pegs volunteered the exact number of children, grand children, and great grandchildren that had come from the great grandmother. Pogo volunteered some fond stories of fried chicken and mashed potato lunches followed by cornflake and peanut butter cookies, the great grandmother's specialty.

Based on how and what they said about this newly dead woman I had never met, I declared the great grandmother a good person and explained to Booga how only her body had died while her spirit remained alive in the All. Then Booga asked what if she hadn't been a good person and I explained that then her spirit would return to the All and perhaps become part of another human being in the future. Booga listened carefully and finally concurred that yes, her great grandmother had been a good person. Then I suggested that if she was a good human being, then when she died, her great grandmother would be there waiting and they could get together again.

Still, Booga was sad over not being able to attend the funeral and I began to explain to her how she could swallow her great grandmother and that would be better. I told her to imagine her great grandmother and when she was very clear, then she should deeply inhale the image and her grandmother would forever be alive in her heart and always available. So, with the dignified seriousness that can only be done by children, Booga straightened up in my lap and slowly inhaled. When she was done, she seemed to be better.

Then I surprised myself at feeling grateful to Dick. Yes, he had hit Booga over the head with death; but he had done it at a time when I was there to help her deal with death. When she met death, my lap was less than 10 feet away and my heart and mind closer still. We should all have met death for the first time in such circumstance.

Seb Nielsen
2032 Blue Mountain Rd.
Port Angeles, WA 98362
360-452-1046
seb@olympus.net
@1995