So I explained to the lizard that my older brother teaches ethics to the Greeks and it was a good job if you could get it. The lizard, of course, is Booga, my nine year old daughter. As Booga will, she then wanted to know what ethics meant.
Being the mean da that I am, I told her to look it up. She moaned and groaned and asked why I couldn't just tell her. Because you won't remember if I tell you and you may if you go to the trouble of looking it up.
So burdened by an unreasonable parent, she went to get the big print lizard dictionary. Imagine my surprise when Booga said she couldn't find the word. Sensing my growing irk, her mother went to help her find it. Imagine my surprise when she confirmed the word ethics wasn't in the big print lizard dictionary. Assuming a conspiracy of idiocy, I went to look for myself. Imagine my surprise when I confirmed the word ethics was not in the big print lizard dictionary and once again I wondered what was going on in the schools today.
So then I told Booga to try the small print real dictionary. After the perfunctory lizard frustration noises, she dragged the dictionary over to the dining table. As she learned the hard way, I sipped my breakfast coffee with smug satisfaction.
She found the word ethics and, using her tiny finger to keep track of the words, she carefully read the definition aloud. It didn't help because the definition contained the word morals and she didn't know what that meant either. So naturally I told her to look that word up too and Booga's groan would have impressed the devil himself. She had some confusion as to where morals would be because she was blanking on the alphabet, but then we sang the song together and she was able to find the word.
Once again her tiny finger moved beneath each word as she read aloud that morals had to do with the capacity of making the distinction between right and wrong in conduct. Her sigh of relief was heartfelt, but then the big breakfast butthead asked if she knew what the word conduct meant.
Booga's growing frustration showed in the speed with which she flipped the flimsy pages of the endless blue book. I felt pity when she found it and told her just to look at number three and she read aloud that conduct was the way one acts.
Then I went a step too far and asked her if she now understood what ethics meant. She slammed the book closed with a force that shook the table and loudly drew out the word no in a sarcastic manner that would have made anyone in wayne's world jealous. Then she declared in a voice best described as yelling that she wasn't going to look up any more words either.
I let the last straw float down when I suggested her conduct was unethical and wee Booga got up in a huff and stalked off for some milk. So another Saturday began in the life of Booga, the nine year old lizard. Seb
Seb Nielsen 2032 Blue Mountain Rd. Port Angeles, WA 98362 360-452-1046 seb@olympus.net @1995